Introvert Extrovert And Everything Inbetween.
Since the Covid pandemic has started I have become somewhat of a recluse. It started when we were all asked to stay at home to protect our health services and our vulnerable people and I just seemed to stay in that mode of being. It wasn’t that I was unhappy but more that I found rhythm in daily life in the home and being more quiet.
For those of you who have known me for a long time you might be surprised to know that I had become somewhat of an introvert finding energy through spending long periods of time alone.
In October this year after Japanese immigration eased their restrictions I had the opportunity to fly to England to see my family and friends. It had been 9 years since my last visit so telling you it was long past overdue seems like an understatement of grand proportions.
My trip was like an energy tonic for my soul. To see my parents, my sister and her family, my cousin and his daughter and friends that I used to get up to so much mischief with in my teens. It’s like I refound my joie de vivre and my pleasure in being around people again. I ate sausage and mash, fish and chips, I bought jeans that fit me well and hair products for curly hair. I walked the coastline of Lincolnshire with my mum and her dog. I had beer in the pubs with my mates, I played card games and ate Quality Street and take out Indian curry with my sister and brother in law, I got to see my beautiful nieces and beautiful Lilly daughter of my cousin now that she has turned into a young lady, I got to have long chats with my dad that will mean more to me than he might ever realize. I got to see how incredibily hard my mum works for animal welfare and what a lovely group of friends she has. I got to show my daughter and my husband an authentic side of England that I don’t think they had experienced before.
I did all of the above while walking down the street and not really be noticed. I stick out like a sore thumb in Tokyo being tall and fair and I hadn’t realized how much it had been affecting my psyche. It’s strange because I never minded being the different one and perhaps even thrived on it, I’m not quite sure when that changed. It’s so important to feel a sense of belonging and even though I have a super supportive husband, daughter and group of friends here and in no way do I want to change what I have, I do miss fitting in naturally rather than being a tall blonde square peg in the more petite, darker, round hole that is Japan.
Since I have got back to Tokyo I made a promise to myself to see friends more and get out and about more and have made the conscious decision to be more carefree about being different here in Japan because there is really not a whole lot I can do about looking how I do and being how I am - I am just me and it’s futile trying to change. Perhaps there is just a time to be quiet and a time to be energetic and it’s all part of the rhythm of life.
I really feel for any of you who are feeling out of place right now. It’s not easy sometimes attempting to be accepted by people who see you as different or outsider - “GAIJIN” is what people call me here in Japan - it literally means “outside person”. The full phrase is ”GAIKOKUJIN” meaning person from another country, but rarely am I offered that terminology when addressed. I get “gaijin” more often than not. Honestly it hurts a little bit because at the time of writing this in November 2022 I have lived here in Japan for more than 25 years and in my Kyodo Setagaya neighbourhood for 20 years. If you are a Japanese person reading this please know that you will never offend someone by calling them “gaikokujin” but addressing someone as “gaijin” is really not acceptable anymore.
Please know that if you are in Tokyo and you want a place to practice yoga where you will be accepted just as you are no matter where you are from, have a little chat and on occasion maybe even cup of tea after class then SYS is the place for you. I will welcome you with open arms and greet you with my refound energy, some great practices, a few laughs and some awesome savasanas under the big Tokyo sky, overlooking Setagaya and into the distance Mt. Fuji.
Much love to all who stumble across this blog,
Lindsey x
P.S I wanted to share some photos of my trip to England with you all, I hope you enjoy them.
